You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
