im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
