I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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