Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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