i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Randomize
