you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
