Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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