i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
