It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
