absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
