I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
