Little spoons don't ask big questions
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
