We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
