im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
