I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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