it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
