hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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