CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
me + whiskey = a bad person
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
