Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
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I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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