my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
