dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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