To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
