just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
my liver is dry heaving
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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