oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
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