The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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