She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
