Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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