Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I am spending my child support on dildos
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize