every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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