who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Everyone says I win the strip club
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
