I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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