I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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