it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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