dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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