TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
