That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
