Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
