my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
