don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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