i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
