I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
