Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
