If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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