How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
