I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
