I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
