Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
The struggles of a small town man whore
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
