had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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