It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
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I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
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My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
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