we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
