JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Four minutes until I can fart!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I wear drunk well.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
