brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
