grandma shit on top of the toilet
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Small penises have feelings too.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
