i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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