So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
