I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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