There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
