Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
