We should be called the Road Head Warriors
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
