you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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