if you like me you must not know who I am
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
