i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
