Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
