I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
