Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
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well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
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Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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