he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize