Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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