Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
