and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
