I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
