why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
