Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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